I am struggling. I am back to losing weight again. I bought a scale for the house because I had to get a first morning weight. Apparently I missed something in class, our goal weight is supposed to be set on our first morning weight, not our Wednesday night weight. Wednesday night I was at 187.5. This morning I was at 181.8. I weighed when I got home Wednesday and my weight was the same as at class. The weight is not the struggle.
I was suffering from terror all week. Just out of the blue. Not anything I could control, or stop. In Isaiah God tells Israel He will uphold them with His mighty right hand. I cling to that for myself too. I started praying that instead of dreading the terror, I would ride it out while I sat in God's mightily right hand. I haven't had an attack since Wednesday. Praise God. I don't know if they will come again, but I know that when they do I don't have to face them alone. I also started feeling like I "needed" something. I tried eating on Saturday night. I took myself out to a Russian restaurant here in San Diego. I listened to ( and understood) the waitresses speaking Russian. I enjoyed Golubski and Pelmeni. It was nice. It didn't help the terror and longing.
God says in His Word He will supply our need. I started clinging to that. I prayed and asked God to meet whatever need I had burning within. He did and He will continue. I know that God hears my sing about "all I need is Him" all of the time. Pray as I attempt to actually live it.
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