So close to just overweight...

I have been in the obese range for more than 2 years. I spent a lot of that time beating myself up for gaining back all of the weight I lost, after my husband of 22 years left. My motivation for initially losing the weight was saving my marriage. It was desperately falling apart for 3 years. I was willing to do anything to save it. I prayed, oh how i prayed. I studied everything in the Bible about marriage. I wrote papers on every biblical reference I found. And I lost weight. When I reached my goal weight, he left. So I spiraled into a deep depression and binged often. Then I would beat myself up and try to "do better". Then I would fail, and binge.  Bad bad cycle. I was so ashamed of myself. But I couldn't fix it. Then, God showed me how much better life was without the constant negative attitude my husband had. The biting, sarcastic comments that stole all of my joy. Hurt me to the core. The manipulation was over. The tightrope act was done. And I got well enough to know that I needed to get my antidepressants adjusted. Then I got well enough to start enjoying life again. Then I got well enough to know who I was created to be. Then I got well enough to lose this weight and improve my health. God is the orchestrator of it all. And I love Him more than anything in my life.