The beginning

Last month I realized I was finally ready to face my weight issue again.

The year of 2010 I lost 60 pounds. I was not losing it for myself, but to save a failing marriage. Rob and I had been together almost 20 years. He had, in 2008, started seeing a woman he had previously been enamored with at work. By 2010 I knew I was losing him and I knew my weight was a big issue with him. I started Scripps weight management and quickly lost 60 pounds. I strutted my new body around, trying to tempt him. It didn't work. It was too late. On the morning of September 30 he drove away, taking only his dog. I told him when he crossed the Virginia State line, it was over. I filed for divorce. I also started eating. A lot. I have, as of this month, gained it all back.

I enrolled in Kaiser's Optifast last month. Twenty weeks of liquid diet. A year of meetings. A year of maintenance lessons. No more bread... fresh, homemade bread... made by Kailee and myself on Saturdays. No more ice cream dinners. No more Hans and Harry visits, just for a little joy. It is time to deal with a problem I have had my entire life. I have been overweight as long as I can remember (except for 2010). Food meant comfort. Family. Reward. It covered feelings. Relieved stress.

This is the beginning of my journey. I started my first food/behavior log today. I start my support group Wednesday evening - preempting my Russian classes. I am hoping Russian can move to another night. I start my liquid diet Wednesday, June 19. I hope to learn a lot. God has chosen this tool for me. I hope to honor Him by sharing.

I have been told many things by people already. Can I share a few that don't help?

• I knew someone who tried Optifast <<insert name here>> gained all of the weight back.
• That is not healthy.
• That is too hard.

I have researched. I have prayed. This is where God led me. Unless you have something encouraging to say, please keep it to yourself. Thank you.